Humans are naturally social creatures. While most people have experienced social awkwardness at some point, having done so consistently is an exceptional thing. For those curious about this unique type of psychological misfire, below is an outline regarding the phenomenon of social awkwardness. Social awkwardness, researcher Joshua Clegg explains , is the feeling we experience when we believe that our desire for being accepted by others is threatened in a given situation.
This feeling incites us to turn inward, increase our self-monitoring, and attempt to behave in ways that will better our chances for acceptance.
People who are consistently socially awkward have certain traits in common, Dr. Ty Tashiro explains. Socially awkward individuals:. While social awkwardness may be uncomfortable, it is not necessarily a bad thing, Tashiro explains. With more intense focus comes certain skills in systematic thinking. In fact, socially awkward individuals often excel in specialized areas, bringing a unique perspective to their work and lives.
Another feature of social awkwardness is how often it is mischaracterized as other personality traits or mental health conditions. Comprehending these differences is key to ensuring individuals get the understanding and support they need to thrive.
Making conversation with strangers, trying to mingle, or going on a first date can all be really nerve-wracking! The more you experience uncomfortable social situations, the more familiar you will become with the triggers that make you feel this way. Next time, instead of bailing in the opposite direction, put the following tips into action:. Instead of going toe-to-toe with others, focus on what you bring to the table.
Each time you catch yourself comparing, pull out your phone and jot down one thing positive thing you like about yourself in the Notes section. Batman or Superman? Would you rather be covered in fur or covered in scales? Centre for Clinical Interventions. Nerd Fitness. Show Off Your Social Self — Tips for managing shyness and challenging negative views that get in the way of social success. Psychology Today. A generous donor will match all contributions made before December 31 — doubling your gift and your impact!
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Is shyness and insecurity a problem for you? Are you afraid of looking stupid in social situations? Do you worry a lot about what others think of you? Do you frequently avoid social situations? Do other people seem to have a lot more fun than you do in social situations? Is it hard for you to approach people or join in conversations? Focus externally, not internally. Laugh at yourself. If you do something embarrassing, use humor to put things in perspective.
Laugh, learn, and move on. It can be something as small as a compliment or smile. Get more help. Nerd Fitness Show Off Your Social Self — Tips for managing shyness and challenging negative views that get in the way of social success. Print PDF. But when their sharp focus, passionate interest and unusual perspective combine with a dash of natural ability, their interaction creates exciting possibilities. Yet this sharp focus and systematic thinking can be an awkward fit with the messiness of social life.
People are not fixed elements. They have different personalities, hold a wide variety of expectations, and sometimes they change their minds for no good reason at all. I personally found it extremely difficult to make sense of novel social situations in the same way that some of my classmates struggled to solve new problems on an algebra test.
Being awkward can feel like being a traveler in a foreign country when you are not quite proficient in the local language: Routine situations like ordering a cup of coffee or taking the bus can be stressful and slight pronunciation or grammatical deviations can produce blush-worthy moments. But if you are a determined traveler, you eventually get your coffee or arrive at your desired destination. In the same way, many awkward people find workarounds to social life and achieve a gratifying sense of belonging.
One workaround I relied upon as a kid was systematically studying how my socially adept peers navigated daily encounters, rehearsing those skills at home, then pushing myself to try them in new encounters.
Another social hack I discovered was that nonsocial skills can become useful at social gatherings, so I taught myself how to cook , take good photos and pour a foamless beer from a keg. Awkward people are neither better, nor worse than anyone else — they simply see the world differently and have to exert more effort to master social graces that come intuitively to others.
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