While some offenders do seek sexual gratification from the act, sexual gratification is often not a primary motivation for a rape offender. Power, control, and anger are more likely to be the primary motivators. Wanting to change is usually not enough to be able to change the patterns that lead to sexual offenses. To create the motivation to change, some offenders need a variety of treatment and corrective interventions, and for others learning how to make the change in their own behavioral cycle of abuse is more effective.
While drugs and alcohol are often involved in sexual assaults, drugs and alcohol do not cause sexual offenses to occur. Rather, drug and alcohol use may be a disinhibitor for the offender, while being under the influence may increase a potential victim's vulnerability. Adult and child victims of sexual abuse are never to blame for the assault, regardless of their behavior.
Because of the age difference, children are unable to legally consent to sexual acts. They are often made to feel like willing participants, which further contributes to their shame and guilt.
Source: The Clemente Report pp. The more we discuss the uncomfortable reality that male children are easily manipulated into compliant victimization though the use of effective grooming techniques employed by nice-guy acquaintance offenders, the less of a taboo topic it will be. And the more we will be able to prevent it. If these [child service] agencies are going to more effectively prevent child sexual victimization, instead of just responding to it, then they must be given a broader mandate, bigger budgets, and greater manpower, training, and investigative powers.
If you look the other way, you are enabling him to potentially offend against children. The information contained on this Website is not intended as, and is not, a substitute for professional advice of any kind. Using those excuses blames the victim for something that the abuser is responsible for. Each of us has control over our own self, and we can choose how we respond in any situation.
Sexual assault within a dating, common-law, or married relationship is in the continuum of domestic violence, which includes a range of abusive and controlling behaviours. This is true for both heterosexual and same-sex couples. Myths that only nice girls get raped, or that sex workers are sluts and bad people and therefore deserve what they get, helps to perpetuate this belief. Like sex workers, some people believe that gay men, lesbians and transgendered people are inhuman abominations and therefore deserve to be disrespected in all ways.
This can also happen with gay men. No one deserves to be raped. While there are a small number of false allegations — with few victims ever reporting abuse — the vast majority of sexual assault and abuse crimes reported to police are legitimate. While it would be helpful if this were true, it simply is not. Sexual abusers come from all walks of life, including all economic, social, religious, and cultural groups.
Many abusers are in positions of power, authority and privilege, which is the reason that they often get away with the abuse for a long time. Abusers take advantage of that to ensure the silence of their victim. Humiliation, shame and fear often stop victims from disclosing sexual abuse.
This can last for decades. Many survivors of childhood sexual abuse wait until well into adulthood to share their secret. Sometimes people will wait until the death of the abuser, if it was a family member, before they feel free to talk about the abuse. For male victims, telling their story can be more complicated, and compounded by fear about their sexuality or what others will think. Survivors can also repress memories as a way of coping with the trauma of the abuse. Memories can return in bits and pieces, so accounts of the abuse may not be complete at any given time.
Victims may also try to hide what is happening to them by denying it when asked. They may fear getting in trouble for their behaviour including underage drinking, using drugs, or lying to parents about who they were with.
As such they may try to mislead parents or police about what happened. And, abusers may intentionally encourage victims to engage in illegal behaviour, knowing that it provides them with another layer of protection if the victim is considering reporting the abuse. People react to trauma in different ways. Survivors might maintain contact with their abusers because they may still feel affection for them even though they hate the abuse. This is especially normal when the abuser is a member of the family or a close family friend.
Sometimes survivors maintain contact in an attempt to regain control over their assault, or to feel normal again. The abuse is often one element of an otherwise loving or fun relationship. Offenders may intentionally maintain the non-abusive parts of the relationship to keep victims feeling close to them, and therefore less likely to report the prior abuse. When faced with imminent threat, most humans will freeze as opposed to fighting or running away.
This is a hard-wired, automatic response, designed to help improve the odds of surviving a dangerous situation. This is true with sexual abuse and sexual violence, with victims often too shocked or confused to know how to respond. No victim should be expected to prevent or stop their abuse even as an adult, and especially if they are a child. The abuser is the one responsible for the abuse.
Blaming the victim just serves to internalize the shame they feel. This is an extension of the previous myth and supports the idea of the compliant victim.
However many sexual abuse situations are not violent. They may instead involve inappropriate touching or fondling, rubbing up against a person in a sexual way, having someone expose themselves to you, a verbal threat to sexually assault you, or an abuser forcing you to touch them, among other things. The conference will engage attendees on a national level to enhance their knowledge of child sexual abuse prevention as well as provide advanced training, connect successful community initiatives together, and help individuals bring the best ideas back to their communities.
We asked Jim to share some insights on how adults can best prevent children from being sexually abused, and he offered these great insights.
These are people we know, trust and even love, who take advantage of relationships and trust in order to violate children sexually. The vast majority of these offenders do not look, act, or speak like we would expect child sex offenders to. They look like you and me, and they act like good, kind, caring, loving people to whom we entrust the care of our children. They could be teachers, coaches, leaders, priests, rabbis, cops, babysitters, athletes, doctors, nurses, soldiers, clowns, mechanics, or anyone else.
The hard truth is that any school, club, team, center or youth serving organization is a target rich environment that will attract child sex offenders. Some will have a history of victimizing children, others will have whispered rumors about them, and others still, will be offenders who have never been caught or even suspected of having a sexual interest in children. These offenders are effective at promoting themselves as people who love and care for children, because they actually do love children.
However, they also rationalize to themselves that it is okay to love children in a sexual way. It is important to note that current research indicates that boys are sexually victimized at or near the same rate as girls are.
Also, although most offenders are male, a significant portion of offenders are female. Grooming is a set of seemingly innocent behaviors used by an adult to gain ongoing access, authority and control over a child for the purpose of sexually victimizing that child.
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